Day 114: Up the Spout

Personal growth is an amazing thing. Other people will probably notice the changes first but it’s even better when you notice it.

This all comes up because a coworker of mine; let’s call her Brandy; has been going through IVF. This is her second cycle and everything seems to be going smoothly this time. The last time, not so much. She and her partner were devastated when it didn’t work and it’s taken a couple years for them to try again. Brandy’s shared her journey with us at work and I was a pleased as anyone when she announced that she was now carrying twins.

In the midst of the small celebration in our classroom, I mentally took a step back. There was no irritation, no frustration, no spite inside me. I was genuinely happy for her and that threw me for a loop.

I’m the first one to say how adverse I am to pregnancies and babies. Avoiding them like the plague has become an unofficial hobby of mine. I talked about my baby hang-ups a little while ago if you’d like to read that story.

This time, however, none of the usual ugly feelings surfaced. I’m glad my friend is pregnant. I’m glad the babies are doing well. I hope she and her partner transition into parenthood as smoothly as possible. That’s mind blowing for me.

I guess I’ve gotten better about it. My husband can even bring the subject up in conversation and I don’t want to run away. We’ve even bragged to friends about how cute a baby we could make. To what may I credit this amazing self revelation?

No idea.  Your guess is as good as mine.

Am I thinking of trying for my own?

Ha Ha, no. Goodness, no.

I’m just more open to the thought now. Whatever shall be, shall be. A little more progress in my personal journey is always a good thing.

Baby steps, you know!