Day 154: Inside

I’m having a lot of feelings today. Not necessarily good ones either.

I love the free time that summer gives me, but it may be a little too much. My mind needs something to do or I’ll start torturing myself. It hasn’t been a week and I’m already not feeling great.

Writing about my concerns helps some. I manage to get out of my own head for a moment while I try to explain things. I don’t want to start paying a therapist again. It isn’t in the budget for the next ten to twelve weeks.

Money is a large part of my problem. No work means no income. No income means staying inside to save the little money I have. Staying home makes my depression worse and I start to feel trapped. I start feeling guilty for not working, but I need this break. The school year has become overly exhausting and summer becomes the only respite I get. It’s truly a nasty cycle.

I guess I’ll just keep lying around.