Day 188: Tiny Melons

Fighting feelings of inadequacy is a constant thing. Especially, in our constantly connected world. There’s always someone online doing something that you wish you were doing, succeeding where you feel like you’ve failed. It’s not hard to fall into the “What am I doing with my life” trap.  One wonders if anything they do makes any difference. Perhaps no one would notice if you just gave up.

Stop that. You matter to someone. Even if it’s someone that would wouldn’t expect.

I feel like that almost daily. I can fight against it some days, some days I can’t. Today was shaping up to be one of the more difficult days. I didn’t sleep well and stayed in bed too long. I still haven’t managed to eat anything. However, I did manage to go outside to my little garden. I feel terrible when I don’t at least water everything. The shriveled greenery doesn’t help my depression.

Anyway, while I was in the garden, I noticed that my watermelon plant had started blooming and upon closer inspection I found this…

A baby watermelon!

Being active in the lives of my plants allows them to grow and thrive. Something that I can take or leave every day and I may forget from time to time. It may not matter of the macro level, but it matters to them. Something simple like this was enough for me. My actions are having a positive effect, even if the effect is small.

You are enough. Just do what you can.