I want to buy all the things. Especially, Black owned things
All the makeup, even though it’s bad for my skin and I’m horrible at it.
All the clothes, even though they are expensive and I rarely leave the house.
All the trips, even though I’m not the biggest fan of people.
All the foods. even though I’m supposed to be trying to lose weight.
Buying things makes me feel good. Retail therapy is a real, but temporary solution to my emotional problems. It kinds of fills the voids that I have inside. Until it doesn’t anymore.
That happens too. Then things get really bad.
I hate being broke because I like buying things. When I can’t, my depression and anxiety enter a new level of irritating. Checking my bank account has reduced my to tears on many occasions.
Pardon my rambling. I’m trying to work through some things.