Day 318: Buttoned Lips

I very nearly lost my shit on a bunch of kids at work today. I really wanted to start screaming at them

To be fair, they were asking for it. They were not following directions and giggling in a very obnoxious way. You can only ask someone to be quiet and receive disrespect in return so many times.

I somehow managed to keep my mouth shut and avoid having that conversation with my coworkers. I have a reputation of maintaining a certain level of emotional consistency with the kids. I don’t get loud. I don’t sink to their level, I expect them to try to meet me at mine.

I was just out of patience at 2:45 on a Friday afternoon.

You know how people say that your threshold for pain is better when your stress levels are lower? It’s a solid fact in my world. When I’m feeling okay, I’m willing to deal with more of someone’s nonsense. If I’m already carrying a heavy load before I get to you, anything that gets added on becomes a problem.

Lately, there have been lots of problems.

If I didn’t have schoolwork to finish, I’m sure that this evening would have been spent crying alone in my bed. It might still, honestly. Just managing to save face in front of my family is about all I have the energy left for at this point.

Thank Goodness for the weekend.

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