I’ve done it!
I’ve made a post every day for a year straight. I had to not give very much some days, but even a little bit counts.
I started this challenge to improve as a writer and to deal with some of my inner turmoil. Looking back, I don’t think my writing has really changed. I’m glad that I do it more frequently and it can be easier to get ideas out, but I’d say that I’m still at the same skill level I started on. I just ended that sentence with a preposition and I don’t care. HA!
On the mental health front, I don’t feel any different either. I still have many more bad days than good ones. I got some complicated feelings out of my head, but there are plenty more where that came from. A lifetime’s worth, one might say. I’ve never had a problem with sharing and I hope my pain can help someone with their own struggle. I consider myself an advocate for mental health awareness and I don’t intend on changing. Problems don’t get fixed by not talking about them. I intend on shouting that from the hills for as long as I live.
Overall, I’ve had a year. A year full of losses and fewer wins. The past six months have been particularly difficult. I haven’t accomplished very much. Some could say that I haven’t accomplished anything. Others have done much more than I, but I know better than to grade on that scale. I know I shouldn’t look at others’ successes at a sign of my failures, but it can be difficult not to. Especially, on social media, where everyone pretends to be living their best lives on the daily.
However, I met one of my goals for this year. I completed my blogging challenge. I’m proud of that and I plan to continue writing every day. I think it’s good for me and my habit of keeping my problems bottled up. That’s how tumors get started and I want nothing else to do with Cancer.
I want to thank the people that have taken the time to read my words. Even more thanks to those who responded. It helps me feel like I’m not screaming into the void, although there are days that I wouldn’t mind doing that. You guys help validate my odd feelings and make me feel less alone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I have a few new goals for 2018. I’ll probably put them into a separate post, but the thing I want most is for people to feel loved. To not feel like a failure, alone and helpless, at the very least. The internet is too vast and connects too many of us for any man to feel like an island. Your tribe is out there if you are willing to search.