If there’s something that the past few years have taught me, it’s that people will cling to their opinions no matter what. It doesn’t matter how wrong those opinions may be, it is nearly impossible for some people to change their minds on a subject. No one likes to have their beliefs challenged and that alone will make people double down on nonsense. You could be a qualified expert in your chosen field, but someone who hasn’t done a one-minute-long Google search will argue you down about how wrong you are. This is not the way. People need to be willing to listen to facts and to change their thinking accordingly.
Loud and Wrong
One of the topics that people like to be loud and wrong about is Autism. Misinformation swirls around it and people are terrified of the word. If you don’t believe me, casually drop it into your conversation and watch the energy shift. The stigma around general mental health issues gets magnified when people discuss Autism, and it is frustrating.
I’m a parent of an autistic person and it has been an adventure. Over the years, I have had to listen to people try to scare or degrade myself and my child over the life we were given. Before they were diagnosed, no one believed that their speech regression was a big deal when they were a year and a half old. They were sure that my baby would just grow out of it. These “experts” thought it was silly of me to be concerned about how particular my child was about the way their toy trains lined up or the way they liked to drag their toes while they walked. It was absolute nonsense that my kid would cry inconsolably when there was a loud noise, and they were just acting up.
I, however, knew better.
I was aware of the typical stages of child development because of my background in special education. I knew what to look for and I noticed what should have been happening and what wasn’t. Thanks to this, I was able to advocate for my child to get the supports that they needed. I’m grateful for my education and prior experiences that informed me of what I should do. That isn’t always the case for everyone.
Myths are also Lies
There are parents that allow the voices of the crowd to prevent them for seeking assistance for their kids. The “vaccines cause Autism” crowd loves to throw blame onto parents. The shame and stigma can haunt parents well into their child’s life, preventing them from seeking needed services. The Autism label can be scary and daunting for families at first, but with some education and understanding, things will be better for all involved.
Myth 1: Vaccines cause Autism
This is very false. Ten of the coauthors of the study linking vaccines and autism admitted the findings were misleading and that they were paid to push the causation narrative several years ago. However, by the time they admitted it, the damage had already been done. Celebrities and religious groups happily prayed on anti-vaxxers fears and continued their spread of the misinformation to further their own agendas. Scientists aren’t 100% certain what does cause autism, but we know it isn’t vaccines. Vaccines help with eradicating diseases, remember. That’s why polio isn’t really a big thing anymore. And while I’m on the subject…
Myth 2: Autism is a disease
Autism is a developmental disability that affects social, emotional, and communicative development. There is such a similarity of identifiers that three different disorders, autistic disorder, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS), and Asperger syndrome are lumped together and called the autism spectrum. The use of these labels has even waned over time. Since it is a developmental delay, other developmental delays like ADHD, can present at the same time. However, autism itself, is a different machine. At its heart, autism is not an illness. You cannot take medicine to reverse autism. You can’t get a shot and your autism clears up in a matter of weeks. Autistic people aren’t sick. They’re brains just work differently. That’s why that fluorescent light humming might not bother you, but the autistic person is freaking out. You probably didn’t even notice, but they did.
Myth 3: A diagnosis of Autism is a death sentence.
This one kills me. No one has ever died of Autism. Ever. Because it isn’t a disease.
Have people died of the flu? Yes. Pneumonia? Certainly. Measles, mumps, and rubella? Absolutely. This is why you vaccinate your kids, but have you noticed that there isn’t a medication for autism? There are meds that try to alleviate some related things, but nothing that directly treats Autism. Can you guess why?
Myth 4: Don’t get diagnosed.
Have you even had a mysterious illness and doctors had no idea what was going on with you? Until you receive that diagnosis, you don’t really have a plan of how to move forward. It might be a cold, the flu, seasonal allergies, or COVID-19? The not-knowing drives you up the wall. Once you know what’s happening, the relief is palpable. You aren’t some weird outlier. There is hope for me.
Apply that same thinking to Autism as well. Couple this with the fact that you may be a non-verbal two-year-old. Your parents might be totally lost. They might be mad at you all the time for having so many meltdowns. They don’t understand why you can’t tell them what’s wrong.
Having the evaluations and diagnosis done can be overwhelming but at the end of the road, there is hope in that diagnosis. You can make a support plan. You can learn strategies to make everyone’s lives better. The earlier you can get help, the better.
The bottom line is, try to develop an informed opinion before you speak. If that is too much, silence is always an option. The option to say that you don’t know is always available as well. Before you say something hurtful or dismissive, make sure that you have as much information as possible. Being mindful of your thoughts and words can save a lot of trouble in the end. Someone is always listening, and you might not realize the influence you might have.
Words mean things and words have power.
8 thoughts on “#RedInstead My Kid isn’t Sick, but You Might Be”
It’s incredible that these myths are still alive and people believe them – yes, people with Autism die, but not any sooner than others lol 🙂
And not from Autism!
Another informative blog. You’re right, some people can’t wait to spew false info. Thank goodness you’re in Special Education.
I love this post!
I knew my daughter had ADHD when she was very young and I was told by everyone, Oh she’s just a little kid, she’ll grow out of it. And I believed them, and waited until she was almost 12 and failing miserably at school before finding help.
When she actually was given a diagnosis, she just cried and said “you mean I’m not just stupid?” and I felt so terrible for not getting her help sooner. This whole time she thought she wasn’t smart enough just because her brain works a little differently. I hate that people just dismiss your concerns when you know something isn’t quite right.
Also, I am so tired of hearing the “Vaccines cause autism” crap! It’s so untrue and is a very harmful narrative to spread.
It can be a tough call for parents but I’m glad you got that diagnosis for your daughter!
Pray it away was my mother’s advice for my nephew. Then some ‘professional’ recommended Ritalin. He was zombie and whenever I babysat for him, I wouldn’t give it to him after seeing the side effects. Thankfully, my sister was also a teacher and while pursing her Bachelors found there were other options. She got him a therapist. He now has a degree himself in electrical engineering and a fully functioning adult. Albeit super smart. He’s like a walking map.