I had dreams, but they were too hard to achieve. It was easier to do nothing and feel sorry for myself.
"Life will happen and I will be back to square one, having gained nothing but heartache for my efforts. A regular reminder that I do not deserve this happiness that I keep aching for."
Hello. My name is Lilly and I'm a recovering foodaholic. In the past, I used food as a coping mechanism. I can remember having a particularly bad day. That afternoon, I ate an entire pepperoni pizza in my car and cried. I would stuff myself to avoid dealing with problematic feeling. The feelings never … Continue reading Week Four: Govern Yourself Accordingly
It's been rough one, friends. I was right to be concerned about going back to work. I tried to take it easy. I tried to stay still as much as I could, but I don't have that kind of job. I think my doctor misunderstood that when he cleared me to return to work. If … Continue reading Week 3: Two Steps Back
I was going to write a very deep and insightful post about my 10 day, pre-op liquid diet. However, I'm on the last day and my energy level is shot. My instructions were to skip liquid protein supplements for the last 48 hours and I can't think very well. My thoughts are sluggish, but I'll … Continue reading Waterlogged
Hello again. I know its been a while but things have been moving and shaking in my personal life. I started going to therapy consistantly in July. I can say that the healing process is messy. Things can definitely get worse before they get better, but you have to commit to doing the work. Its … Continue reading Changes
I have a very hard time keeping the creative juices flowing sometimes. Everyone does, I know. I've decided to post some of my efforts to keep the fire burning. I bought a book of writing prompts and will be posting my favorite results. There isn't a required length but there are a few guidelines for … Continue reading Writing Prompt #1
Today I woke up with an odd feeling. Something like disconnectedness. I don't think that's really a word, but I'm going with it. I could tell my depression wanted to act up today. A person shouldn't wake up and immediately want to cry. That's never okay. There are things in my life that make me … Continue reading Day 284: Forced Perspective
Depression is tiring. One wouldn't think that with the general impression of a depressed person being someone who lays around all the time, not doing anything. The fight is internal, hence the "invisible illness" designation. For example, I don't want to leave the house most of the time. Going out of my room can be … Continue reading Day 221: Don’t Stop Here
I spent too much time relaxing this summer. I only say this because my body is having a hard time readjusting to my normal schedule. My body is sore and I'm worn out. At the same time, I'm excited to get the school year going. I love seeing my friends progress through the year, ,even … Continue reading Day 218:Happy Wednesday
